Lindsay on Ice...

I have some erratic fears. Among them are Michael Buble, Willy Wonka, Nicholas Cage, jaywalking, breaking traffic rules (not as a driver but a pedestrian), being late to the airport, rollerblading and black ice.

As a Utah native, I am accustomed to snow in abundance. Due to this fact I am not sure how or why I developed a debilitating fear of walking on ice. I have had this fear for as long as I can remember.

My elementary school was only a couple of blocks from my house growing up, so I always walked with my friends to and from school. On a particularly frigid day we came to the point in our walk where we had to cross the street. I hated this juncture even on the sunniest of days because it required jaywalking. On this wintry day it was more ominous than usual. Not only was the road taunting me to jaywalk, it also appeared as though it had been encased in patent black leather. An entire layer of ice enveloped my path. My best friend and her sister crossed the road without hesitation and beckoned me to follow. (FYI this is the same family who taught me about Santa and sex…apparently being one of eight children also equips you to successfully cope with black ice…) I was paralyzed with fear and completely immobile. After more encouragement and urgency I ventured to put a foot in the road. I quickly pulled back. I began to panic. As much as I feared jaywalking, and black ice, I also was horrified at the prospect of being tardy (I am happy to report that my need to be on time has since become a fear I have conquered.) I made a snap decision, sat down, and began to scoot across the ice on my butt. Half way across the road, cars began to pull up. The driver in the first car looked simultaneously bewildered, irritated and concerned. My friends begged me to get up and run the rest of the way. Not only was I embarrassing them, I was also holding up traffic. I couldn’t stand up. I continued to scoot on my behind for the last humiliating and icy stretch of road.

As a young child I would offer the same prayer almost every night. I would plead with God to be spared from meeting any of my fears. I asked to be spared from cancer or any type of terminal illness, I asked to be spared from natural disasters, and I especially petitioned to be spared from any profound loss. Eventually I grew out of this phase and began to ask God for more appropriate things such as personal growth and increased faith, but I hoped these things would come free of ever meeting my fears.

With the exception of Michael Buble and Nicholas Cage, this past decade I have encountered each fear I pleaded desperately not to meet. God has brought me to the edge of black ice junctures again and again. Though there have been times when all I have wanted to do is sit down and scoot across the ice, each circumstance has demanded I walk.  By some miracle I have been able to place one foot in front of the other. This isn’t to say I haven’t slipped or held up traffic by falling in the middle of the road, I certainly have. But with each encounter I have been able to stand up and walk to the other side. Accepting the ice I could not control brought me indescribable peace. In fact, it was my life moments on the ice when I was least afraid.

Case and point, if you want to be safe you should take the following precautions: Avoid Michael Buble and Nicholas Cage, don’t jaywalk, be to the airport 90 minutes prior to your flight, and never ask to grow if you don’t want to meet your fears.