Downslope to thirty...

This week is my 28th birthday and I must say I am grateful to be out of an "odd" year. Beyond 17, I have never been partial to "odd" ages. Being back to an even amount of years (except in some parts of Asia where they start the count at 1 straight out the gate) is somewhat comforting. To say the twenties were/are rough would be an understatement! Even Junior High was easier. Junior High was like taking in the scenery and chlorine in the Small World ride, whereas my twenties have been more like the stomach jump right as you head down Splash Mountain. Disneyland and key developmental stages have always been equally tumultuous for me…

This isn't a post about how I pictured my life in my late twenties, is isn't about taking inventory on all the ways I failed to meet my previously set expectations. I am pretty sure beyond babies and beauty tips, being single and childless are the most blogged about topics of milennials in the world wide web. You don't need to read another one of those...This isn't a post about all the marvelous adventure and travels I have experienced due to the my singledom and childlessness. I don't travel. In fact the only place I have ever been outside the US is Tecate, Mexico, where I went to a weight loss spa for two weeks as a high school graduation gift…
My twenties have been neither traditional or adventurous. They haven't marked a decade of frivolously searching for myself. In fact, I have semi-annually had to lose myself for the whole duration.
27 was a year of letting go of a lot. From pride to personal hygiene, eyeballs to income, it was a year of losses. It also served as a year of stillness and listening. It was a year of great momentum even though I perceived it as stagnation. It was a year of learning when to let go and what to let go of. So in honor of my 28th birthday, might I present my list of 28 things to let go of on your downslope to 30.

LET GO OF:

1. Deadlines enforced by social media feeds. Social media is exceptional at making everyone's timeline seem congruous. I promise not everyone (or even close to everyone) is currently married, pregnant and gainfully employed at their dream jobs.

2. Set Geographies. Be willing to explore, move and be perpetually nomadic (at least for a little while)

3. Complaining about your student debt. Everyone has it or gets it at some point… Instead be in awe that you were part of the 1% of the world's population, lucky enough to enjoy and experience all the splendor of higher education.

4. Relationships that are codependent. Repeat after me, partners over projects, partners over projects!

5. Your ideal weight from high school.

6. Pessimism. About anything really. It does work out, it will work out.

7. Gossiping. Be aware of what you say, be conscious and gracious.

8. Fear motivating decisions.

9. Communication shortcuts. Call, don't text. Get together, don't call.

10. Your phone when you are with someone else. Seriously? Give someone the gift of your undivided attention.

11. Criticizing other women. Whether she is married and pregnant at 18 or appears to be career obsessed, whether she takes too many selfies or pictures of her kids, even is she posts pictures of her legs at the beach, Don't speak unkindly. Don't assume you do it better. Don't assume you make more of a contribution.

12. Looking for alternate endings and probable causes. Forget the relationship that didn't work, the job you didn't get or the "whatever" that somehow didn't materialize.

13. Being a slave to the five year plan. Enjoy five minutes. Savor five hours. Rejoice in five days.

14. Interrupting. Don't always be thinking of the next thing you need to say.

15. Putting off going for what you want.

16. Not trying.

17. Thinking so much about what others think of you.

18. A few hours of Netflix for an excellent book.

19. Feeling guilty for unplanned or unsocial Friday nights.

20. Punishing yourself for not being who you once were, or punishing yourself not yet being who you thought you would be.

21. Buying into anything that perpetuates negativity or violence toward women.

22. Buying your clothing a size too small.

23. Justifying behavior from others that is not justifiable. Especially significant others.

24. Reasoning that it must be your fault.

25. Staging your photos and your life.

26. Tanning.

27. Feeling self pity and growing cynical.

28. Putting limitations on God. He is capable!

When it comes to birthdays I try to consider the good things they are drawing me closer to and the difficulties they create distance from. The closer I get to thirty, the closer I get to ten years of remission from cancer. The closer I get to closing out my twenties, the further away I am from the insecurities and fears that plagued me during a particularly uncertain decade. I rejoice in another glorious year of life!