Think to Thank

Have you ever had one of those moments where you absolutely believe you will never feel anything but grateful? A moment where you resolve you will always be positive and keep perspective? A moment that makes you entirely forget all the adversity leading up to it? I have had several. I have witnessed miracles. I have been frequently blessed to be the recipient of unbelievable marvels. Any one of these miracles could and should generate enough gratitude to sustain me for the rest of my life. Regardless of what I have witnessed and experienced I still find myself growing complacent. As a child I remember reading stories in the Bible and marveling at how quickly people would forget the blessing/miracle/deliverance they had just experienced. I always found it unbelievable that the children of Israel could walk through the Red Sea to their deliverance and start complaining about the manna (which was a miracle in and of itself) only a few days later. I am not going to lie, I can see this pattern in myself. I too complain about manna. The moment I was called and told the tumor had mysteriously disappeared from my scans, and every doctors appointment since when my remission has been confirmed have been poignant moments where I have promised myself to cherish my life. I have thought to myself in those moments that I will be kinder, more generous, faithful, charitable, passionate, a better sibling, a more concerned friend, a gracious daughter etc. etc. I promise myself I will remember the miracle of my life is bigger than the challenge. I think all of these things, recommit myself to them and then find myself griping a week later about the normal vicissitudes of life. I am swearing at strangers in traffic, I am always in a hurry to nowhere in particular, I am living for the future, I am cursing my body for not looking the way it did when I was 17, I am not as helpful or as patient as I should be with my family members, I think I should make more money, I want to be more appreciated, and all the sudden everyday somehow seems monotonous and routine.

How does this happen?

While I sincerely believe it is imperative we remember the remarkable, life altering, miraculous events of our lives, I think most importantly we (I) need to make a concerted effort to take a daily inventory of the small things that occur every minute of every day if we were only to pay attention. I need to take the time to be grateful for the man who chased 15 rolling diet coke cans through a busy supermarket parking lot after the cardboard carrying case failed and chaos ensued. I need to be grateful for my amazing eye doctor who only charged me a 20 dollar copay at my last appointment because he knows I am currently self employed and have no insurance. I need to be grateful for the random Facebook message sent by an inspired friend at an exact moment of stress and frustration. I need to take the time to write down the small and simple things that beautifully transpire each and every single day.

I have a magical life. I have been blessed well beyond what I could ever deserve. I am grateful to belong to the most amazing family, who are the only people truly bizarre enough to understand and love me unconditionally. I am grateful for brilliant, crazy, eccentric friends who support me and challenge me on a daily basis. I am grateful for all the extraordinary educational opportunities I have received, and when I start to panic about my student debt, I remind myself only 1% of the world's population is given the opportunity to go to college. I am grateful to be a woman. I am grateful to have found a true passion in my life. I am grateful for the ways the arts have transformed my life. I am grateful for my faith. I am grateful for Christ. I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for all the ways the Red Sea parts in big and small ways in my own personal circumstance. I am grateful for the manna of everyday life.